Settle me down

Bags are (almost) packed.  House is vacuumed.  Meals are in the freezer.  Itineraries are printed.  Tomorrow's the day.  In 24 hours we'll be on a plane.  CRAZINESS.

"How are you feeling?" seems to be the common question these days. 

It's hard to explain how I'm feeling.  I've run through the gamut of emotions.

Last week it was nervous.  Nervous about leaving the kids.  Nervous about being on a plane for 14 hours.  Nervous about what to pack.  Nervous about all I had to do before we left.  Nervous about entering a new culture.  Nervous about the language barrier.  Nervous about all the unknowns.

To be honest, this is W-A-Y out of my comfort zone.  Last week I was drinking coffee, sitting on our comfy green couch, looking at my home and my family and all that was familiar to me.  And it hit me, in one week there will be nothing familiar or comfortable.  Everything will be new, different, unknown, unfamiliar.  And most likely uncomfortable.  I didn't quite know what to do with that, so I just cried.  And prayed.

Now that most of my to-do list is done and the day is almost here, I feel kind-of numb.  I feel in-between - ready to go, and yet torn about leaving.  Excited for this adventure and scared of all that's ahead of us.  It's a strange feeling.  My thoughts feel fractured and scattered.

I was reading Philippians 4:6 this morning.  I always read from several versions so that I can gain perspective into the text.  The Message version says, "Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down."

That's what I need.  I need God's wholeness to move into my scattered pieces of worry and fear and doubt and excitement and just settle me down.  Make me whole.  Let that peace that passes understanding invade my soul.  Keep me focused and alert and ready.  God is whole.  God is good.  God is here.

Thank you friends for reading and praying.  We are hoping to update the blog somehow while we are gone, but of course, it's all unknown!  :)  If we have internet access we may be able to.  If not, you know I'll be writing everything down and will share when we return!  Thanks for your many kind words and thank you most of all for your love! 

~Katie