Run Your Race

I'm sorry I've been silent.  I have no words.  And it's hard to write when you don't have words. There are still stories to tell from Ethiopia. Memories stacked up in my mind like little boxes waiting to be opened. I don't know if it's harder to  go back and open them or harder to gather up all the memories into a worthy story - to not just read words on a page but to forget for a few moments where you are as you yourself enter in.  While I was there the words flowed freely, the experiences were fresh and vivid and alive. And the stories almost wrote themselves.  I'm learning that storytelling is a form of art, and art is always inspired. It's almost impossible to dictate or force or schedule. So as I settle more comfortably into this role of writer, I accept that the words will come when they come, and until then I need to be watching, listening, absorbing, and waiting for the stories to unfold in their time. I promise they will - there is more to say, so much more to say.

And maybe you know that next month there will be a similar story, yet vastly different too.  Andy and I will travel to the Middle East for a medical missions trip.  It's his third time there and my first.  Last year when he returned from his second trip, he asked me to come with him on the next one.  I said yes. I wanted to meet his friends, see the country he'd fallen in love with, taste the food he raved about, and serve the people his heart broke for.  It was my time, finally.  Every other time had been the wrong time, but I knew this time I was ready and the kids would be okay.

And then God threw us the Ethiopia curveball.  My heart was torn at first.  Two trips in less than five months?  What will people say? Would they judge me for leaving my children that much?  Am I a bad mom for leaving them again?

"And let us run with endurance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Those words leapt off the page when I read them a few weeks ago. This is the race marked out for me. I'm sure of it. And though others may not agree, or may question, I pray my eyes stay on the course, focused on the finish, looking to the One who marked my race.

"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith."  Hebrews 12:2

I've applied this verse to so many things in my life lately. I have a tendency to look at others' races and decide theirs  look better than mine.  It appears easier over there, and I want to jump over to their lane. Or maybe give up, or at least slow down. I compare and wish and and covet. I feel inadequate. I doubt and fear and wonder if I'm even in the right race.

My race looks so different than yours, but I'm learning that's okay, and in fact that's the way God designed it. He's reminding me to stay on course, keep looking straight at Him, and keep running no matter what, just keep running. And in the end -- the only thing that matters -- is that He is the end.  He's there waiting for me, ready to congratulate me, hug me, and say, "Well done."  And in the end, His opinion will be the one that counts.

Here's a picture of our team from Maryland, and we'll join up with another team once we get there.

Kate, Jack, Lisa, Carla, me, Andy

 We'll be serving with the local church who is serving refugees from Syria.  (I'm sorry I'm being so vague - we have to be for the safety and security of those on the ground.) I'll be playing with and loving on the kids who come into the clinic. I'm praying that love and play will overcome the language barrier, and that God will use me in some small way to touch their hearts.  Pray for the team, that we will be unified, and that God will use those with medical gifts to reach  beyond the physical into hearts and souls. Pray for the brave ones on the ground, serving Jesus in a hostile region, risking their lives daily.  They've counted the cost and they've decided the risk is worth it.  And finally, pray for this country and the people who have witnessed tragedies we only see on the news. Pray that God will heal and restore their broken hearts.  Pray that they too, will run their race with endurance, the race marked out for them, keeping their eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of their faith.